He was the most gorgeous boy right from the start and he made us smile every day.
Because my sister died of cot death on the 14th of January, , I was very careful with Declan. I made sure that he was sleeping on his back, that he was not too warm, not too cold and nobody was allowed to smoke in the house. In October, , when Declan was about 18 months old, my husband, two sons and I moved to England and Declan settled into our new house quickly.
He loved his new nursery; he loved entertaining the other children; and he enjoyed cuddles with the staff. Declan had wanted a bike for a long time. When he got one on Christmas morning, he was so happy. One evening about a week before Declan died, it started to snow.
We all dressed up warm and went out with the sledge. He had so much fun trying to make snowballs and trying to throw them as far as he could.
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On the evening of January 12, , Declan became sick so my husband and I took him into bed with us to make sure he was ok. The next day, he seemed much better, but he did not eat much and he was very sleepy. When we all woke up on Monday morning, January 14th, Declan was much better. He ate all of his breakfast and he started running after me for more yogurt and juice. Around 10am Declan got very tired.
I felt like something was wrong so we made an appointment with the doctor. We went out to the car.
The house has low ceilings which was such a problem. But children's proprioceptive senses are still immature. And speaking of naps — how close is that nap to bedtime?
I sat in the back seat with Declan in my arms. Before we made it out of the car park, Declan stopped breathing. He was transported by ambulance to the hospital. They tried for so long.
At 3pm the doctor turned to me with tears in his eyes and shook his head. We sat in the room with Declan for three hours.
It was his favourite nursery rhyme. I told him that I will always love him. I can hardly remember the days afterwards, but I do remember the phone call after the post mortem and the news that there was nothing wrong with him.
The days and weeks after are still a big blur. Their support worker, came around and started taking care of us and explaining some things. Declan is with me all the time. I am now able to smile again when thinking of him.
In his short life, Declan taught us that smiling, having fun, and giving love is the most important thing in life. I feel proud to call him my son and I am forever thankful for the time we had him with us.
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